The Gemara says that the geula comes in the blink of an eye. Rashi says on that, that it's not (necessarily) talking about a communal geula, but every person's individual geula.
Geula, meaning redemption, is a strange thing. Sometimes when you find reach your geula, it turns out to be not exactly what you expected.
I haven't been on a date in awhile, so I don't see my geula coming...but you never know...a blink of an eye, right??
Last night I was feeling lonely. Don't know why, but I was.
But I think it's better to lonely when you're alone than lonely while you're married.
I pray that everyone has a pesach which will begin the process of our redemption as a nation and each person's personal redemption.
L'Shana Haba B'Yerushalayim!!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
HELP!!
So, since I am a giver, I have decided to help out the few (perhaps very few) people who actually read my blog.
There is a wonderful website to help frum jews break their internet addictions.
http://www.guardyoureyes.org/
In all honesty, a few months ago, a girl I used to talk to got involved with the website and told me about it, and BH, she doesn't talk to me anymore. BH, not because I didn't like her, but BH because she has tried to overcome her problem.
I signed up for the daily emails, but I have never checked it.
Then yesterday, the girl that I wrote about in a previous blog, the one who is married that I thought I had feelings for told me about the website too.
So, it is getting filtered out to the masses.
The operators of the site are very smart. There are men's forums and women's forums. BUT, apparently, men cannot see the women's forum. However, I have no idea how they know since I didn't sign up and it still took me only to the men's forum. Perhaps, that is their default since they realize that most guys will be trolling for girls.
I give the website a lot of credit for trying to stem the problem.
But I give even more credit to the strong, holy men and women who turn to that website for help. It is difficult to do.
They inspire me
There is a wonderful website to help frum jews break their internet addictions.
http://www.guardyoureyes.org/
In all honesty, a few months ago, a girl I used to talk to got involved with the website and told me about it, and BH, she doesn't talk to me anymore. BH, not because I didn't like her, but BH because she has tried to overcome her problem.
I signed up for the daily emails, but I have never checked it.
Then yesterday, the girl that I wrote about in a previous blog, the one who is married that I thought I had feelings for told me about the website too.
So, it is getting filtered out to the masses.
The operators of the site are very smart. There are men's forums and women's forums. BUT, apparently, men cannot see the women's forum. However, I have no idea how they know since I didn't sign up and it still took me only to the men's forum. Perhaps, that is their default since they realize that most guys will be trolling for girls.
I give the website a lot of credit for trying to stem the problem.
But I give even more credit to the strong, holy men and women who turn to that website for help. It is difficult to do.
They inspire me
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Being Sick
I've been very sick for the past few days. The sickest I have been in my entire life, up to this point.
I have a stomach bug...throwing up, diarea (wrong spelling, I know).
I'm also achy all over. I can't make a move without moaning.
I feel like an old man.
I also realize how alone I am. My family is great and gets me a drink when I need it, etc., but there is something missing when a person is sick, and no spouse to take care of them.
Be'ezrat H-shem, one day soon
Refuah shlema to all of Am Yisrael
I have a stomach bug...throwing up, diarea (wrong spelling, I know).
I'm also achy all over. I can't make a move without moaning.
I feel like an old man.
I also realize how alone I am. My family is great and gets me a drink when I need it, etc., but there is something missing when a person is sick, and no spouse to take care of them.
Be'ezrat H-shem, one day soon
Refuah shlema to all of Am Yisrael
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Loathing of Lobbies
I apologize to all my loyal followers (however few in number you may be).
I have not written anything in about 3 weeks because I was away in Israel, and I did not have access to a computer where I could write freely.
I just landed today...Motzei Shabbos flights are the worst...but that is a topic for another day.
While in Israel, I got set up with a few girls. They were all very sweet, but not for me.
I am a shadchan's dream guy. I'm frum, a professional, sweet, funny, etc etc...the shadchanim like me so much,sometimes I wish I could date them!!
So this one shadchan calls me up and says that the girl has agreed to go out with me and that for the first date, I should go to a hotel lobby.
I informed the woman that a hotel lobby really isn't my style. I'd much rather go to a coffee shop, or chas veshalom, actually spend a few dollars buy the girl something to eat!!
The shadchan responded with a definitive NO! The girl is frum and wants to go to a hotel lobby, as this is how it is done in Israel (I have dated in Israel for many years and that is not necessarily true).
I relented and said if that's where the girl feels most comfortable then that is fine with me. I could care less.
The next morning the shadchan calls me back and says, "OK, no lobby". I asked what happened.
She told the girl that she told me that we needed to go to a hotel lobby, but that I really didn't want to, but she made me go.
The girl told the shadchan, "Baruch H-shem, I hate hotel lobbies".
The shadchan attributed her loathing of lobbies to her originating from a location a bit outside the main frummy enclaves...as if every "normal" frum girl from Flatbush or Monsey loves the lobby.
In any case, that was already a gold star for the girl in my book!!
We ended up going to some very quaint little coffee shop. She was very sweet and wanted to go out again. For a specific reason (no, not looks), I declined.
My rant on this day is that the frum world nowadays has inented these artificial constructs that are so arbitrary and they treat it as if Moshe brought it down from the mountain.
I have spent my whole life in yeshiva and I'm almost positive that there is no commandment, "Thou shall sit awkwardly in a hotel lobby when thou takes a chick out on a date"
There is no halacha anywhere that says that...even in contemporary sources.
Yet, this shadchan, even though meaning well, stated that a lobby is a must.
For many girls and guys that is true. I respect that. But for them, it is a must as a social construct more than a religious one.
Another arbitrary construct is separate seating. Until 60 years ago, not even the frummest and most holy people had separate seating functions. It is a bit different than the lobby, because separate seating does have contemporary halachic support.
A rabbi I learn with and respect greatly had a point of view that if 5 single guys and 5 single girls are sitting at a table together at a wedding, the mind (at least of the guys) would wander.
I wholeheartedly agreed. (But I also said, that maybe the mind wanders because boys and girls are so separate that when they finally do interact, it creates impure thoughts that might not otherwise be there)
(As an aside, that made me think of a cute joke.
What is black, white, and red all over? A yeshiva bochur on a date!!! Cute, I know.)
Back to our regularly scheduled programming...
But I asked what the difference would be if a shadchan set me up on dates which each of those 5 girls individually. Wouldn't I be having impure thoughts then too? He responded that I wouldn't given that it is in the different framework and context.
Maybe, maybe not.
I'm not a rabbi...yet, but all I know is one thing.
Frumkeit does NOT necessarily equal Yiddishkeit
I have not written anything in about 3 weeks because I was away in Israel, and I did not have access to a computer where I could write freely.
I just landed today...Motzei Shabbos flights are the worst...but that is a topic for another day.
While in Israel, I got set up with a few girls. They were all very sweet, but not for me.
I am a shadchan's dream guy. I'm frum, a professional, sweet, funny, etc etc...the shadchanim like me so much,sometimes I wish I could date them!!
So this one shadchan calls me up and says that the girl has agreed to go out with me and that for the first date, I should go to a hotel lobby.
I informed the woman that a hotel lobby really isn't my style. I'd much rather go to a coffee shop, or chas veshalom, actually spend a few dollars buy the girl something to eat!!
The shadchan responded with a definitive NO! The girl is frum and wants to go to a hotel lobby, as this is how it is done in Israel (I have dated in Israel for many years and that is not necessarily true).
I relented and said if that's where the girl feels most comfortable then that is fine with me. I could care less.
The next morning the shadchan calls me back and says, "OK, no lobby". I asked what happened.
She told the girl that she told me that we needed to go to a hotel lobby, but that I really didn't want to, but she made me go.
The girl told the shadchan, "Baruch H-shem, I hate hotel lobbies".
The shadchan attributed her loathing of lobbies to her originating from a location a bit outside the main frummy enclaves...as if every "normal" frum girl from Flatbush or Monsey loves the lobby.
In any case, that was already a gold star for the girl in my book!!
We ended up going to some very quaint little coffee shop. She was very sweet and wanted to go out again. For a specific reason (no, not looks), I declined.
My rant on this day is that the frum world nowadays has inented these artificial constructs that are so arbitrary and they treat it as if Moshe brought it down from the mountain.
I have spent my whole life in yeshiva and I'm almost positive that there is no commandment, "Thou shall sit awkwardly in a hotel lobby when thou takes a chick out on a date"
There is no halacha anywhere that says that...even in contemporary sources.
Yet, this shadchan, even though meaning well, stated that a lobby is a must.
For many girls and guys that is true. I respect that. But for them, it is a must as a social construct more than a religious one.
Another arbitrary construct is separate seating. Until 60 years ago, not even the frummest and most holy people had separate seating functions. It is a bit different than the lobby, because separate seating does have contemporary halachic support.
A rabbi I learn with and respect greatly had a point of view that if 5 single guys and 5 single girls are sitting at a table together at a wedding, the mind (at least of the guys) would wander.
I wholeheartedly agreed. (But I also said, that maybe the mind wanders because boys and girls are so separate that when they finally do interact, it creates impure thoughts that might not otherwise be there)
(As an aside, that made me think of a cute joke.
What is black, white, and red all over? A yeshiva bochur on a date!!! Cute, I know.)
Back to our regularly scheduled programming...
But I asked what the difference would be if a shadchan set me up on dates which each of those 5 girls individually. Wouldn't I be having impure thoughts then too? He responded that I wouldn't given that it is in the different framework and context.
Maybe, maybe not.
I'm not a rabbi...yet, but all I know is one thing.
Frumkeit does NOT necessarily equal Yiddishkeit
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