Gayness or Goyness??

Hello friends...and enemies.

It's been about 6 weeks since my last posting.

I guess I just didn't have anything new to report from my boring, stagnant life.

I've received many comments and emails of people both supporting and deriding me for my feelings and actions.

I want to make a few points.

1) I am not gay...never have been, never will be. The people who write here that i am use the fact that I didn't have sex with the woman i met to prove that I'm gay.

I don't know when having a conscience and halachic standards (yes, halachic standards even for me) indicates that a person's gay. It's like saying that a sincerely frum guy who is shomer negia is gay too, even though he may masturbate in private.

Their position is that since I'm having phone sex with women, I must not be frum, and therefore, I shouldn't have any problem doing any other sins relating to sexuality.

I agree that I may be a hypocrite and I might look frummer than i actually am...but that doesn't mean that I can't try my best at whatever else is out there.

Just because i have phone sex, doesn't mean i shouldn't try to keep shabbos better, or to try to hold myself from saying lashon hara, or even from having sex for real.

2) Many (not all) people who have told me I'm gay are the same people who have emailed me in private asking me to introduce them to women I know or to ask for where I meet these women etc. They want tips.

Since I never divulge anything, they have gotten upset at me. I guess being angry and jealous makes people throw accusations and insults. However, my life is really nothing to be jealous of, believe me. Not a good life to have

So, whoever wants to believe I'm gay, go right ahead!!

If you want to believe I'm not frum and that I'm a goy, go right ahead.