Holiness and Hypocracy and Happiness??

This past shabbos, we read Acharei Mot/Kedoshim.

In AM, we read about all the forbidden relationships that we read on mincha yom kippur.

The fact that it is written in the Torah indicates to me that some people actually think and fantasize about these types of relationships (i.e incest).

Whether that is a person's deepest desires, like freud said, or the nature of a person is to be repulsed by it and some people just pervert themselves and their minds...the fact remains that if the Torah mentions it, it means it is on people's minds.

Obviously, I'm not talking about abuse or molestation. That is 100% wrong, illegal, immoral and disgusting.

The Torah is talking about a relationship between consenting adults.

In my online travels, I have met many people...and many women who secretly have this deep-seeded fantasy and desire.

Shocking at first. not anymore.

Then Kedoshim.

Rashi says that to be holy or separate and distinct, a person must separate himself/herself as far away from sexual immorality as possible.

I was standing in front of my shul saying this, talking about how sexual immorality is terrible...and the whole time I'm thinking what a hypocrite I am.

Given what I do online and my thoughts and fantasies, how can I talk about being holy and separate myself from sexual immorality, when at the same time, I want to fuck a few married women in my shul??

I'm usually a very happy person...but my hypocracy doesn't help my happiness!!!

But will I change?

I doubt it

Back to the Future

So, Pesach is a time to look back, in order to move forward. The Haftarah for the last days of Pesach represent that, talking about the "dry bones" prophecy, and the lions laying with the lamb prophecy...refereing to the time of Mashiach, BB.

I, too, am back here looking to the future.

I have written in a long time because I was busy with work and family stuff. But also, I don't see that anyone is reading or commenting on my blog, so I don't have motivation to continue writing.

Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to the wall with no feedback.

But then I realized, that this I can use this blog for myself, whether other people read it or not. It can help sort out my thoughts aand feelings.

So, I haven't been on a date in a long while...and I've been masturbating up a storm.

I'm definitely a kinky bastard!!!