Bashert or Blew It???

Hello all,

I haven't written in a long while. Not much to tell. Same old same old.

Nothing changes in my life.

I dated a girl a few years ago. I love her and I think she loved me. However, there were issues so I broke up with her and have been thinking about her ever since.

Sometimes I felt like she was the one for me, and other times I felt like if I try with her again, it would be like fitting a square peg into a round opening (no sexual inuendo there, I promise)...and I really really don't want to end up like so sleazy married guys online looking for something different because they feel like they regret their past choices or just feel like they missed out.

It was tearing me up inside.

Recently, I contacted this girl, and asked her if she wanted to talk.

She said no thank you, that she was seeing someone and it was very serious.

I'm very happy for her. I wished her well.

I felt both loss and relief. Loss, that I might have missed my bashert, a wonderful sweet frum girl who would be an amazing wife and mother.

But also relief, that after years of wondering, pondering, I can finally let her go, at least the idea of her.

I just hope and pray to H-shem that I don't end up 50 and single :(