Moron or Idiot??

I vote for both!!

That woman who I ruined my Yom Kippur over is already out of my life basically.

I am such a moron and an idiot for letting it affect me so much.

Even at the time I knew it was fleeting...just like every yetzer hara...and I still gave in.

Stupid stupid me.

Previously, I wrote about a girl I know who betrayed me like no one else ever has. I'm still upset about that. She used to be a slut.

She just had a baby BH, and she changed...she is sincerely trying to not be that slut again. But she is finding it difficult.

The following is the poem she wrote and showed me. It is powerful.

The trigger is pulled
the weights lowered
crushing
full
of my mistakes
parts of me I know exist
memories
I cannot forget
immense pressure
forced
to cower in fear
frightened
the addiction
overwhelmes me
takes over my senses
I try to search
to reach
looking for strength
to hold
I lose control
give in
addicted
I have failed

The trigger is been pulled again
the weights lowered
heavy
full
of past mistakes
parts of me
I wish did not exist
memories
I struggle to forget
irresistable pull
forced
to bend in fear
afraid
it will overwhelm me
take over my senses
I search deep
for love
grab onto it
hold it
light as a feather
it gives me strength
to stand again
gain control
I have succeded