Real Improvement or Pipe Dream?

Shana Tova to all my loyal readers, and everyone in general!!

I had a spiritually uplifting Rosh Hashanah. I even cried at certain points, BH!!

Makes me feel that I'm not a lost cause.

As every year, I have made 2 "New Year's Resolutions". Well, I made more than 2, but my philosophy is at least one ben adam lemakom and one ben adam l'chavero.

I decided to try to cut my masturbation down to twice a week.

Why not to cut it out altogether, you ask?? Because, I know myself. I know that I will not be able to sustain that for the long run.

As it is, I masturbate a number of times per day on average. But I felt that twice a week is probably the amount that I would NEED to do it, but that it would still be a challenge.

That's not to say that if i only did it once and it's the end of the week, I'll do it one more time just to be yotzeh doing it twice.

I really want to stop. As pleasurable as it may be, I feel lonely and sad afterwards most of the time.

But I fear I won't be able to keep it up. I fear I'll do it much more...especially, when I get down, have a bad day or a bad date or whatever.

but I'm trying....

I hope my dream doesn't evaporate in a cloud of smoke.

Any thoughts??