1% Majority

The internet is the most destructive invention of our generation. But I have decided not to rail against it, since I take advantage of it too. Also, it is the case, that I have so much to rant about on the subject, I have no idea where to begin.

First, let me tell you about my friend, let's call her Blueberry (BB). She is frum and comes from a relatively sheltered world. She had no interaction with the opposite sex of any kind. She started chatting online maybe 2 months ago and already she has surpassed every boundary she thought was set in stone. She met and has sex with men, many men, perhaps even many many men. Married men even!!

When she first starting in the chatroom, she would give mussar to all the married people looking to "hook up"...and in a short time frame, she has sunken to their levels.

What does that say? Perhaps that says more about her and her vulnerability and her pain more than it says about the internet (since she is divorced), but maybe it says something about the internet too.

Even now, she tells me she is digusted with herself, but does not feel guilty. She says she is confused, angry, wishes she can go back 2 months when she was still a nice frum divorced young woman...but obviously, she can't. She is no longer innocent.

The internet messes up my head...completely. In fact, it was Rosh Hashanah, about 6 or 7 years ago, during Mussaf on the first day, when I was right in the middle of Zichronos and I wanted to give it all up. COMPLETELY!!

And the reason? I have recently met a "frum" woman who was having an affair. I was shocked, stunned, hurt, scared. I thought to myself, if she, who looks and acts all frum can do such an awful, not to mention assur thing, then what I am doing here for?

The longer I am online, and the more I open my eyes, the more I think that it is normal...the most frum people, whether men or women are fucking around on their spouses or into all types of kinky stuff (which is fine if kept between the couple) or that single frummies are all a part of this vast "frum orgy"

That messes me up. Now everytime I see a frum woman, I always think, "Who did she have phone sex with last night?" or "How unhappily married is she?" or "Does she wish her husband's cock was bigger, just like the woman I talked to last night?" (The answer...a resounding YES!!! :) )

The worst question I ask myself though is, "Would the girl I'm sitting across from now in the hotel lobby, ever cheat on me?" That scares me to death! But, I'm part of the problem too. I have met and had phone sex with many many many married frum women. I think at some point, I just figured, if you can't beat him, JOIN THEM. I know...middah keneged middah...I'm scared. (And no, I don't usually go to hotel lobbies on dates...just an example...I'm more creative than that, I hope)

But, I firmly believe that this is NOT the whole frum world. It can't be. I truly believe that 99% of all frum people are sincerely, genuinely frum. I do not have any illusions. I don't think that 99% of frum married couples are happy. However, even if unhappy, very few married frum people would actually cheat. They might think about it, fantasize about it, but NEVER ACTUALLY DO IT.

The problem with the internet is that everyone online it seems, is the OTHER 1%. We see everyone having sexual issues or trying to get off or trying to connect to other people in whatever manner they need and we think it is prevalent amount the ENTIRE community.

But it isn't.

It is a 1% majority